A letter for Mother’s Day: “Thank you for being the way you are (imperfect)”

Every year, on the occasion of Mother’s Day , we offer you a poem and / or writing with which to congratulate all mothers. We always do the poem, but the letter depends a little on the inspiration and time we have, and in this case we wanted to rescue it to try to offer an important message to mothers and future mothers.

It is the message of a son or daughter thanking their mother for being the way she is, even imperfect , offering her the reason for that nuance. Something like letting all mothers know that as long as there is love, respect and dedication, despite the faults they may have, they are the perfect mothers for their children.

I’m not sure where to start because there are many things I want to say and they spin in my head in a scattered way, without order or concert, a bit like children are: fickle, energetic, changeable, that we are both laughing and crying and We love you madly as much as we tell you that I don’t love you at all. The fact is that I sat here, Mom, with my bad handwriting and a somewhat crumpled paper to tell you how much I love you and thank you for how you are.

I know for a fact that, since I was born, you have tried to do things well, or very well. The fear of failing, the fear of being wrong, the fear of stopping doing important things or doing things that could harm me have made you be very aware of everything and I know that this generates a little anxiety. Anxiety or fear, that the most important person in your life, me, may reproach you for something like sometimes, inside you, you reproach your parents. And you see me, sitting down to thank you, so you have done something very well, even though sometimes you don’t feel exactly that.

I know that you have lived through many hard things, that you have suffered in many aspects and I know that with me you had the desire to, finally, do something very well and that you saw the opportunity to heal old wounds through motherhood because, isn’t it enriching? And does it make someone grow as a person knowing that you are raising and feeding a baby to the best of your ability? Isn’t it a source of motivation and pride to know that you are giving your best to make your children good people? Isn’t sharing, giving, offering the best of oneself the moment when the perfect circle is closed between what one is and what the other can become?

Because when you are a mother, the best you can offer are not toys, or gifts, or the best clothes, but your affection, your time and your love. And this, although it is wrong to say it, not all mothers (or all fathers) give it in the same way. Why am I saying this, Mom? Well, because I want you to know that the day you are gone, the day you are gone, the day you leave, your legacy will remain with me forever. Your words, your kisses, your caresses, your affection … and your imperfections. All this will remain in me, in my learning, in my life, in my way of being, and I will also pass it on to my children so that, in a way, each new generation will be a bit of who you are.

I already know it. Right now you are telling yourself that you are no one in particular, but simply a mom who tries to do her best and is making more mistakes than she would like. I know you feel that way, but you can rest assured: that is what all mothers think, because you are so responsible, you give so much for us, your children, that you always think that you could give a little more, or that you could do better.

And yet I thank you because you are imperfect, because you do many things well, but you do things that you would not want to end up doing. And although I know that you have cried because you have not managed to be the ideal mother that you wanted to be, you should be proud just for the mere fact that you have tried and keep trying. Take off that pressure, mom, because to be a perfect mother you should be a perfect woman, and that woman does not exist. In addition, you should have a perfect child, and I am not, because children do not come to do what our parents want, but to be free, to do what we want and need and, in a way, to give you a few life lessons.

Yes, yes, life lessons, that you older people are used to living according to schedules and rules that seem stupid to us. But if most of you always live in the constant search for happiness and you cannot find it! We, on the other hand, are happy and, instead of learning from us how to do it, you want us to get used to your way of life, much more stressful.

But still, I thank you because every time you make a mistake I realize that when I make a mistake, which I will do, I will be as human as you. Because every time you ask for forgiveness, I will be learning to ask for forgiveness. Every time I make you feel bad, when I get angry, you will see that there is something I am asking you and you cannot understand, and you will fight to find a way to get the two of them back in tune.

If you were perfect, I would pretend to be too and realizing that I can’t, I would feel terrible, pressured, hurt and sad for not meeting your expectations. But knowing that this is not the case makes me feel more capable of being myself and not so much who I think you want me to be. Also, I know that you try, that you always try to do better and that you struggle to spend more time with me, and that makes me feel very loved and, at the same time, makes me love you very much.

Therefore, I tell you again, do not be obfuscated with trying to be the best mother in the world, because I do not need her. I only need you, as you are, to learn through you what this imperfect world in which I have lived is like and how those continuous clashes between people and characters are managed. How else could I learn to relate to other children and other adults, if everything is always idyllic, away from external reality? That being the case, being who you are, with the affection with which you treat me, with the love with which you speak to me and with the respect with which you make your decisions, you are my perfect imperfect mother.

So don’t change, keep treating me like that, in that way that you always explain to dad: “I take care of him this way because it is how I would have liked my parents to treat me, and besides, it is that I feel that way, it comes out of inside “, like this, how it comes out of you, and continues to accompany me on this complicated path that I have had to live, because life can be very hard and sad for everything, or very hard and happy, despite everything, depending on what to take me in my backpack the day I say goodbye to you. At the moment, when I open it, I see dedication and affection, so since I don’t blame you for anything, don’t do it either. And if you think you can improve something, go ahead. Everything you grow as a person will be everything I take with me.

Without further ado, I say goodbye not without first telling you that I LOVE YOU, like this, with capital letters.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.

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