The “bases” in dating are another one of those American references that have caught on in the rest of the world. These references trace their origin to baseball terminology and are used to euphemistically describe how far you’ve gone in physical intimacy in your relationship. Navigating your way around these bases of relationship can seem a bit tricky and daunting for newbies, and that’s why we’re here to help.
Segregating the stages of physical intimacy on the basis of baseball bases has basically been around since forever. It’s been around so long, in fact, that people rarely use it anymore. You know, a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell?
However, it’s always a good idea to stay up to date on the common references everybody knows, lest you be left scratching your head when someone says they reached third base. Let’s start with the bases definition, and then try to understand how to jump from one to the next.
What Are The 4 Bases In Dating?
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Have you heard your friends boisterously discuss hitting second base or scoring third base with a person? Does that leave you wondering what bases in dating are all about? Are you left asking yourself, “Wait, I don’t see any baseball gear around, what is the second base meaning s/he’s talking about?”
It’s okay if you’re left wondering about what these mystical bases in relationships are and why everybody keeps talking about them. Assuming you played it off and laughed along with your buddies, hoping no one would ask you what they’re talking about, you left that meeting without an understanding of what they were talking about.
So, has the question, “What are the 4 bases in dating?”, got you comparing a baseball pitch to the male and female anatomy? Fret not, we’re here to help you out. Let’s put your mind at ease and tell you about the typical four bases of relationship:
- First base: Kissing
- Second base: Hand stimulation (above the waist)
- Third base: Oral-stimulation
- Fourth base (or Home Run): Intercourse
These distinctions remain the same for everyone and do not differ by age or location unless your friend group decides otherwise. So, the bases in a teenage relationship are the same as what they’d mean for someone a bit older. And no, they do not change according to the nature of the relationship you may have. Therefore, the answer to questions like “What is second base in dating?” or “What is second base sexually?” remains the same.
Now that we’ve got the basic outline of everything out of the way, let’s get into a bit more detail about what the bases in relationships entail. It’s not easy to go from second base to third, and sometimes people might jump around the fourth base without ever bringing it home.
1. It all begins with the first base
What is the first base in dating? It’s that thing you hope you’ll be doing by the end of that nervous first date, the thing that lets you instantly know how well you two are going to connect: kissing. We’re not talking a peck on the cheek or a brush of the lips, but full-blown French-style kisses with tongue and everything. Given that physical intimacy between two people usually begins with the locking of the lips, it qualifies as the first base.
This is a soft, romantic, emotional initiation that usually happens on the first or second date. Of course, it may involve your hands wandering to the other person’s hair, neck, and back, but try to limit it at that unless there are clear signs that you both want to take things forward. First base is also often used as a measure to see whether there is a sexual spark and if it’d be worth taking things forward.
2. Second base meaning: Getting handsy with it
The second base is just a natural progression from the first. Apart from intense kissing, it also involves hand stimulation but above the waist. There is a lot of touching, holding, grasping, and often, cupping or rubbing of the breasts involved in the second base. At this stage, your intimacy is strictly restricted to touch, but yes, tops do tend to come off.
Let’s be honest, after you hit first base a couple of times, you’re naturally going to be hitting second. How to get to second base isn’t something to overthink. In fact, the more you overthink it, the harder it will end up being. We can’t help you with the overthinking, but at the very least you now know the answer to what is second base sexually.
And yes, the second base for guys is just as exciting as all the other bases. They’re not always trying to secure the home run, even though that might be on their mind. They do also enjoy every base individually, so don’t think you have to rush past anything. Are you already dreaming about how to get to second base? Keep reading, we’ll help you get there too.
3. The third base is when things start to heat up
The third base is all about letting your tongue do the talking. No, not literally though. The third base in dating involves the use of the tongue (and teeth, if you’re both into that sort of thing) to offer sexual stimulation. From the breasts to all the way down there.
This is usually when things start getting a lot more sexual, and it can also be used as foreplay for what’s about to come next. Don’t take this stage for granted, though. How well (or not) you perform oral sex can be a decisive factor in how things progress. Getting it right is all about communicating your needs and what you’re looking for, and understanding those of your partner.
If you’re giving each other head, a.k.a. oral sex, you’ve reached the third base of the relationship. This is the penultimate stage of sexual pleasure. When we consider the third base meaning in a relationship, it’s usually right before the couple moves on to the final base, which brings us to our next point.
4. Fourth base a.k.a. “the home run”
As the name suggests, the fourth base is about going all the way in your search for the big-O. It involves penetrative sex. If this is the first time for you or your partner, this is the point where you lose your virginity. The reason why it’s dubbed a “home run” is because this stage is usually considered to be the end goal.
Dubbing sex in a relationship as a home run or the fourth base may insinuate that you need to get there as quickly as possible but try to take things slow and at your own pace. Getting swayed by the bases in relationships might make you seem way too eager to get into his/her pants, which might leave you staring at the first base from the bench.
If you’re one of the people asking themselves questions like how to get to third base or trying to figure out how to take things forward, don’t worry, we’re not going to leave you blue balled.
How To Jump Bases In Dating?
Okay, so that was a crash course in the four bases in the dating business. Knowing is one thing and experiencing is another ball game altogether. To make sure you navigate these stages correctly, you’ve got to play your cards right, time your move well, and most importantly, be gentle and sensitive in your approach.
Let’s take a look at how you can maneuver your way through the stages without coming off as a creep, so you don’t end up with three strikes in your pursuit of the home run.
How to get to first base
Getting to first base is all about reading body language to know for sure that the other person is ready for that first kiss before you lean in. So, analyze the body movements of the person you’re with. Do you feel in sync? Are they leaning toward you when talking? Are your fingers inter-twining on their own?
If the answer to these questions is yes, now is your window to reach for their lips. But if you’ve misread the signals, and they’re not ready, have the grace to accept and withdraw. You could be upfront and ask too, which is always a good idea. Just because you want it doesn’t mean that the other person is obligated to comply. Plus, if your date wants it too, they might even do something to initiate it, like getting closer to you.
How to get to second base
Now that you know what is second base in dating, it’s time to figure out how to get there. While you were kissing, did you feel like you both wanted more? Were your bodies pressed hard against each other? Were your hands racing up and down each other’s backs? If yes, it may be time to test the waters by sliding your hand inside their clothes and moving your fingers down their belly and back.
You should always ask for consent before you proceed with this stage. Even if you’re in the middle of a passionate kiss and the physical cues are all there, asking for consent to let your hands wander won’t kill the mood, trust us. It takes a lot of self-control to hold oneself back after a spell of hot, passionate kissing, but we recommend you take your time getting to second base and beyond.
Giving in to your impulses on the first or second date may be too soon. Get to know each other a little more before you take the plunge, or give your partner the go-ahead. The second base for guys holds just as much importance as it does for their female counterparts. So, if you are dating a guy, don’t assume he wants to get past this stage as quickly as possible. Get to know him, read the room and ask for consent.
How to get to third base
The third base meaning in a relationship is oral sex, and that’s usually a big milestone in the early stages of any romance. Going from kissing each other to having oral sex is a very intimate moment, and rushing it might ruin the whole thing. Unless you’re looking for a casual hookup, take your time before you start contemplating how to get to third base because, at this stage, things get intense.
It’s a good idea to take a breather from your second base exploring and ask your partner if they’re ready for more. And if the answer is yes, go ahead and explore the new highs of carnal pleasures. The answer to how to get to the third base can really be as simple as that.
Taking the time to get to know each other before this penultimate move is also important because certain oral stimulations can put you at risk of STDs. So you have to be 100% sure about your safety. It’s a good idea to use protection like condoms or oral dams at this stage. Besides, you should be on the same page in terms of what you want from the relationship, because if one is just looking for experience and the other is emotionally invested, it can lead to a lot of pain.
How to get to fourth base
The most important thing to keep in mind is consent in your relationship. We cannot stress this enough. Talk to each other at length and be sure that you’re both ready for it before hitting the home run. Do not exert pressure on your partner because coaxing is NOT consent. Similarly, do not give in to pressure from your partner or peers. You’ve got to do this at your own pace and when you’re ready.
When you do, make sure you go prepared. We mean, buy your own condoms. Don’t rely on the other person to take care of it or have unprotected sex in the “heat of the moment”. If you don’t have protection, put it off for another time. And make sure you’re somewhere safe.
During the act, be considerate of your partner’s needs and cater to their pleasure too. There is no bigger put-off than being with someone selfish in bed. It can cost you your relationship.
Now that you know what are the 4 bases in a relationship and how to get there, hopefully, your dating life becomes that much more exciting. Keep in mind that you don’t have to hit a home run, and a relationship can be just as fulfilling, if not more, without physical intimacy. The most important thing is to try and connect with your partner so you don’t end up getting bored on your fourth date.